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Cockroach Janta Party
Unofficial Constitution & Code of Conduct · Version 1.0
We survived the dinosaurs. We will survive the IT cell.
Chapter 1
The Core Ideology — The Hive Mind
Three rules that define what CJP is and what it will never compromise on.
Rule 01
Survival Above All
Cockroaches can survive a nuclear blast. CJP members must survive internet trolls, IT cell attacks, and algorithmic suppression. The swarm does not self-destruct under pressure — it adapts, mutates, and reappears from a different angle.
Never delete a good meme just because it gets backlash.Rule 02
Power to the Unemployed
The party is built by the over-educated and under-employed. Anyone who has ever been told "go look for a job" after making a political tweet is automatically a cabinet minister. The more degrees you have relative to your salary, the higher your rank.
Unemployment is not a bug in this system. It is the credential.Rule 03
Absolute Satire
Reality is already a joke. Our job is just to point it out with a spotlight and a rubber duck. Every critique must be dipped in irony, sarcasm, or profound absurdity. Earnest outrage is for people who still believe in press conferences.
If it cannot be expressed as a meme, it is not a policy position.Chapter 2
The Code of Conduct — The Scuttle Protocol
To keep the swarm functioning without getting the platform suspended or inviting legal trouble. These are not suggestions. Violation means forfeiting your antennae.
| Directive | The Rule | Why It Matters |
|---|---|---|
| Policy over Person | Critique the policy, the system, and the institutional failure. Avoid targeting a politician's personal or family life. | Policy critique is a protected right. Personal defamation is a criminal liability. We want to outlive the news cycle, not become it. |
| No Hate Speech | Zero tolerance for communal, casteist, sexist, or discriminatory slurs. We punch up at power, never down at marginalised groups. | Hate speech kills a movement instantly and surrenders the moral high ground. We mock the mahel, not the mazdoor. |
| Fact-Check the Fiction | Satire can be exaggerated, but the underlying facts must be real. Mock the paper leak using the real paper leak data. | Spreading fake news destroys credibility and invites legal crackdown faster than any meme. If the truth isn't absurd enough, look harder. |
| No Incitement | The only thing we ignite is a digital firestorm. Never call for physical violence, riots, or unlawful assemblies. | Our weapon is the keyboard and the meme template. Public order is not our target. The algorithm is. |
Chapter 3
Monetisation & Integrity — The No Sell-Out Clause
The party takes no corporate cash and holds no bank account. What you do with your own antennae is your business — with one absolute exception.
Rule 04 — Decentralised Hustle
The official party takes no corporate cash or anonymous funds. Members are therefore encouraged to monetise independently. Sell your own CJP merch. Monetise your own CJP-themed podcast. Write substacks. Build a Substack empire. Keep the cash — share the memes.
Your independent hustle is not a conflict of interest. It is the proof of concept that the under-employed can build something real without asking permission.
Rule 05 — No Paid Shilling
A cockroach does not bow to corporate sponsors or political IT cells. If you accept money under the table to stop criticising a specific politician, policy, or party — you forfeit your antennae and are banished from the swarm permanently.
There is no appeals process. There is no tribunal. The swarm decides. The scuttling continues without you.
Chapter 4
The Digital Warfare Strategy — Meme Manifesto
Four steps. Repeatable. Scalable. Legally defensible. Click each step for the full protocol.
Step 01
Identify the Absurdity
Step 02
Apply the Cockroach Filter
Step 03
Strip the Hate
Step 04
Release the Swarm
The moment we take ourselves too seriously, we lose. The government knows exactly how to deal with angry protesters. It has absolutely no idea how to deal with a million people laughing at them.
Keep crawling. Keep laughing. — The Swarm
This page is satire. The Cockroach Janta Party is a decentralised internet protest movement, not a registered political party under the Representation of the People Act, 1951. Nothing on this page constitutes legal advice. The Scuttle Protocol is not a substitute for consulting an actual lawyer before posting anything that might land you in Patiala House. All content on this site is protected under editorial and satirical speech. Stay legal. Stay funny. Keep scuttling.